I was born on November 14th.
That makes me a scorpio, and I don’t know what that means.
I’m 5’1″, I weigh 113 pounds, I don’t know how to play solitaire and I’m a sucker for a guy with a nice smile, a good hair cut and a love for Jesus.
I’ve been told that my height is perfect for people to either hug or use as an arm rest on top of my head. I also love chicken and fruit smoothies, a lot. I’ve also been told that I need to work on whispering, because I’m loud where it needs to be quiet and quiet where I should be loud.
Secretly, I get nervous when someone is close enough to smell me, and I have this obsession with putting puzzles together, watching ‘The Office,’ reading the Bible, cooking and binge watching movies. I also have an odd fascination with games like Jenga and watching sunsets, and I think it’s because I usually find myself dedicating time to things that will only last a few moments.
It’s also why I tend to “fall in love,” with guys who will never love me back. I know it sounds stupid and it sounds crazy, but it’s a whole lot easier than it seems and I almost like it that way, because relationships often remind me that I’m not afraid of heights or falling but I’m scared of what’s going to happen when my body hits the ground.
Sometimes I’ll lose consciousness in my legs and will trip over my self-esteem and feel so insecure, I can’t even tell who’s trying to give me a compliment. I’ve also have never been in the military and am incapable of being, but I have this Purple Heart. I got it from beating myself up over things I can’t fix, and I try really hard.
I’m not perfect. I curse when I shouldn’t, I have an ugly laugh, I snort, I have a bad habit of leaving the lights on, in the bedroom, I tend to spend money on irrelevant things like grapes I won’t eat or tea I’ll forget to drink. I always forget to brush my hair, I have one of the worst road rages, and I’m not a pancake person.
Hi. My name is Malane. I enjoy Hi-C pink lemonade, people watching and laughing out of the blue or over something stupid and I am lactose intolerant. I allow myself to cry too much and need to start taking it like a woman. My hobbies involve yoga and wanting to hide under bed sheets because I’m still trying to convince my own shadow that I’m someone worth following and that my past isn’t who I am, I was mocked by my own curtains when they found out who I was behind them, before I knew who Christ was.
I’m not certain of most things, but I’m certain of this:
Heaven will be beautiful. I’m sure it’s full of beautiful music too. God listens to our heartbeats on His iPod playing through His speakers. He has this unique ability to silence all of the distractions and extra voices and knows where we are. He shows up in the midst of our silences and our brokenness to drop a verse that is about to change our lives. He loves us dearly, and invites us to His table. We are called chosen. We are world changers. We are conquerers. We are His children. Broken, blessed and beautiful and I am in awe of Him.